Cranky Old Gamer on Final Fantasy VII

So I feel my Cranky Old Gamer side has been boiling up for quite some time now, and I guess it's time to rant before he pops. The topic in question? Final Fantasy...VII. It seems an article or blog can't talk about this game without saying 'the most popular of the series' or even 'the greatest role playing game ever'. Come on, people! Not only do I *not* feel this is the best RPG ever, I'd rank this game as my 5th, yes fifth, favorite Final Fantasy title! What shall I nitpick first? Oh, I feel like a kid in a candy store suddenly!

Transration

Final Fantasy VI was a beautifully translated game. Nintendo knew the importance of the title and had its own translation team hard at work making sure the dialogue in the game sounded natural and clear. It really helped draw you into the game as the characters revealed their inner secrets, their hopes, and their dreams. Then Final Fantasy VII came out...

...Wow. I think you can really feel for the crossing gate of her heart in this scene. And let's not forget Barret, who channels Mr. T through the majority of the game:

I haven't done the exact calculations, but I think he starts at least 33.33% of his sentences with "The hell you..." Riveting dialogue indeed. If that were all, I would certainly not make such a long-winded speech about how over-hyped this game is. Next let's look at...

Art Direction

...or lack thereof. Most people when insulting the art will say things like how the characters during the majority of the game lack hands, instead having their arms end in stumps, or how it's a bit jarring to see the super-deformed versions of the characters suddenly turn into realistic counterparts when in battle mode or during cinema scenes. But I'm looking beyond that, because let's face it, it was a transitional period for the team, and they were still finding the best way to represent the characters in different situations. What I have a problem with is the lack of a competent background design throughout the entire game. What parts of the background, like pipes or ladders or ramps, should I be paying attention to or interacting with? Beats me, since a pipe that can't be climbed on looks just like a pipe that can. This is something that has been handled competently since the days before the NES. The background artist should be able to use placement, color and lighting to clue the user into what to look at. The user probably won't even realize he or she is be instructed what to view as important, their eye should naturally be drawn to something significant.

How do I know that this wasn't just a case of me being an idiot? They put in an optional overlay to tell you what is interactive and where the exits are!

"Call me whenever you're walking around confused." Believe me, that can be quite often. With the press of a button, a series of arrows will appear on screen, showing exits and interactive objects. With the option off, which is how I played most of the game, you can often miss important items or a ladder in the background you can use. Turn it on, and in some screens be assaulted with three or five arrows on the screen, which kind of ruins the whole "realistic" look of the game.

Mini-"Games" and Side Quests

I put the games up there in quotes because, well, I was always under the impression that games were meant to be fun. But apparently when they're "mini", they are held under less rigorous standards. How many of you out there played that snowboarding game in the arcade more than once? SSX that was not. But the big offender was the Chocobo Racing, and with it, the breeding! What made this "game" particularly bad was that if you wanted the best summons materia in the game, you had no choice but to play it. And play it again. And again! The materia is only accessible with a Gold Chocobo. And the only way to get one is to breed it. This consists of catching chocobos, taking them back to the stables, buying lots of various foods for them and stuffing it down their throats. The stables alone, which you will need to fill with chocobos, cost 10,000 gil a piece. And the greens and nuts you feed them cost a fortune too. So right off the bat, half of this "game" is fighting monster upon monster to quickly earn cash.

After doing all of that nonsense, you also have to train the chocobos in the races to get them stronger in various attributes. The races are interesting, because at times you'll feel that you're controlling the chocobo, and at others you'll feel that at best you're offering him a meek suggestion of what to do. What I'm saying is that this is not a fun racing game, and you'll be playing it a LOT if you want to breed a gold chocobo. Then there's the fact that when you breed two chocobos, you're still leaving a lot up to chance.

All told, I believe I spent about a week and a half doing nothing in the game but the gold chocobo side quest. Just catching, feeding, killing monsters for gil, racing breeding, repeat. I was at the very end of the game, and just wanted that one materia before going in for the final battle. So this one little side quest and racing "game" took my gaming enjoyment to a screeching halt for a good ten days as I just repeated the same monotonous work over and over. Way to ruin the narrative flow there, guys!

Now I'd like to end this Cranky Old Gamer post on a positive note, since I realize I may have said a few harsh words about what is a beloved game to many. If you'll recall at the beginning of this rant I mentioned that FFVII is probably my 5th favorite of the Final Fantasy games. That's out of nine that I've played. For all the attitude I'm giving it, there's still a good amount of Final Fantasy magic to be found here. And to me, it's mostly in the characters themselves, which I found to be (for the most part) enjoyable enough to keep me happy and excited to be sharing in such a grand adventure with them. I was just as excited as any fan when news of Advent Children first spread, and judging from other blog posts, I came away much happier than some of its other viewers. I think this is because I really just wanted to see all these characters, these friends with whom I'd spent so many hours, together once again like old times. No crazy mini-games, no confusing backgrounds, just the people we'd grown so attached to. I feel that the opening passage of the Advent Children movie said it best (in the fansub version, which I thought sounded more heartfelt than the official release):

"Gather again and devote your time... To those who loved this world once before and spent time with its friends"

Images and "transration" quotes supplied by Zany Video Game Quotes